Conflict Resolution

Artwork by C0n71nuum

Texting is a terrible place to have a real disagreement. It flattens everything into words with no tone, no timing, no face, no body. You’re basically arguing with a projection of the other person instead of their embodied self. A short reply feels rude, a long reply is overwhelming, a delayed reply seems calculated, even when it isn’t. The medium forces you to make assumptions, and people are famously bad at making guesses due to that infamous ruminative thinking.

So the conflict stops being about the issue and becomes about interpretation. You’re decoding the text down to the punctuation while the other person is also drafting responses in private, editing, delaying, disappearing.

It’s not a conversation, it’s asynchronous communication with emotional lag.

Meanwhile, if you had just met up or called, it probably would’ve taken ten minutes and a hug to resolve. Because, in real life, you can see someone soften, hear their tone shift, feel when something lands. Your angelic little body does the work for you.

Texting is great for sending a song, a location, a photo, a “running 10 minutes late.” It’s not built for monologues (which can scare the recipient in the form of a text but feels more normal in person) let alone conflict resolution. Using it that way is basically choosing the lowest-resolution version of a high-stakes interaction.

Call them. Or see them.

Otherwise, you’re just arguing inside the wrong medium, which can (and most likely will) worsen the situation.